Roughly seven months ago, I took a risk. I left a nice, comfortable corporate job for a small web and video production company. I worked as a Web Project Manager. I love the web. I am knowledgeable and I wanted to learn even more. Being that I have a degree in English, I am not specialized. (And no, I can’t be a teacher. You have to have an Education degree to be a teacher. Stop asking.) But I have been passionate about the web for a long time and this was my chance to finally work full time on the web.
On Tuesday, after watching my project/client list slowly get smaller and smaller, I was called in and made aware that I was being “let go”. It seems I may have been hanging off the side of a building and they couldn’t hold on anymore, because after that meeting, I certainly felt like I had fallen.
Frankly, this only happened two days ago, so it might not be a great time to start giving out advice like a seasoned expert. This has never happened to me before and I hope it doesn’t happen again. Maybe I will just have to do a follow-up post in the future. But without further adieu, here are my tips for how to handle it:
- Take a day off: Don’t jump right into looking for a job again. Relax. Let your head and your heart settle. Hike up a mountain. Have a beer. Smoke a cigar. Go for a run. Take a nap. Watch a movie. Listen to music. If you can, take two days.
- It’s not you, it’s them: You aren’t George. You weren’t fired. Even if you were, I bet it wasn’t you. I don’t know that there is a way to avoid this situation shaking your confidence, but if you need a mantra I would recommend this.
- Don’t wallow or do anything destructive: I am an excellent wallower and if I can get into a good groove I can stay in a self-pitying mood for a couple days (read: weeks). You need to relax, but not over do it. You need to have one beer, but not twelve.
- You will think about it anyway: Even while you relax, there will be no way to avoid thinking about it. Likely, you will move through some semblance of the five steps. No one has died, but grieve for yourself, for stability, for friendships. And more. It’s a shitty process, but just keep moving.
- Assess Your Finances: Depending on and if you received severance, start looking at what you need to do to survive. I don’t think this is time to jump back into a career necessarily. It’s like breaking up with a girl and immediately dating another one. You don’t need a rebound job. Go down to the temping agencies or a previous employer and get some temporary work.
- Do not be ashamed: There are times in my life when I have been humbled and this is certainly one of them. Being a proud member of the Protestant Work Ethic, I believed that you worked hard and nothing would go wrong, right? Those other people got laid off because they are lazy, etc. But it’s just not the case. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are often affected by the choices of others and this is one such time. This happens to a lot of people. We survive and we are stronger for it.
- Talk about it: Once I got over the feeling of shame, I started to talk about it and I was surprise by the waves of support. I was feeling jaded and being that I am a little melodramatic sometimes, feeling like the world would never be happy again. But people surprise you. A friend took me out for lunch. I received emails and calls from friends and family alike. It’s a great time to be reminded that though one person/company has let you down, there are so many others willing to do anything to help.
- What else?
When looking around at the state of the world and wondering if we should be worried about making mortgage payments and so on, I always tell my wife Leah that if we can’t afford mortgage payments then we will likely have a lot more to worry about than paying the bank. I think in perspective, being laid off is far from the worst thing. I think my mom said it best:
In fifteen years you will look back at this moment and possibly not even remember it because there will be so much more good in your life.
For me, I am moving forward. No time to wallow. Working on the aforementioned web consulting project and meeting with a few temping agencies and applying for jobs. Do you need help with your website or writing? Maybe I can just go freelance.
Adam Kahtava
September 18th, 2008
Sorry to hear about this. I’m sure it won’t be long until you find something new of interest. With every experience we grow.
So what trail did you hike?
Rhett Soveran
September 18th, 2008
That’s from Sentinel Pass, in Banff. It was actually a few weeks ago that I hiked it, but it seemed like a decent picture. And I absolutely agree with you.
Stacy Smith
September 19th, 2008
Yeah man…I just got laid off last Friday. I worked for a huge internet telecomm provider for 7 years. I never had any performance issues the entire time I worked there…then out of the blue my boss created a false story about my “suddenly poor performance” and I felt manipulated into taking a severance package. I wasn’t terribly shocked that she would be so unethical, but I wasn’t expecting the lengths she took to make things look so grim for me. Really unnecessry. I spent many days angry at that fact, but today I have started to forgive since I know it wasn’t really my fault. I heard this tactic was also used on others so I just felt like one of many.
Soooooo I have a job interview lined up for next week and in addition to that I was contacted immediately by my previous boss who immediately offered to give me a job at his company once their hiring freeze is lifted. See? There is hope for me.
I like what you had to say….yes times are tough out there but it doesn’t help to wallow too long.
I’ve been struggling with trying to relax..(really relax)…so I’m just doing what is necessary and important first things first…organizing my office, buying storage bins at Target, talking myself out of spending unnecessary funds on things to make myself feel better and taking calls from all of my really nice friends who I know think highly of me. I could use a day to chill and do something fun, but so far the panic hasn’t allowed me to do that completely. I bet this weekend I’ll relax a little. Hey, this is only one week old exactly, as of today.
Yeah, my ego is bruised, but I know I put my best effort there and that I’ll land on my feet again soon. Funny how we let our egos get bruised for really no reason. We don’t hold the purse strings on these companies. We’ve just been cogs in the wheel. Layoffs are inevitable. It’s how we handle ourselves through the process that matters. Retain our dignity. Try not to bad mouth the previous employer. Forge ahead into the future. Eat some cake. Whatever it takes.
Stacy
Rhett Soveran
September 20th, 2008
Thanks Stacy. Brilliant comment and I am sorry to hear that you and I are in similar boats. I totally agree that there is so much room to be angry about it (and I have been), but ultimately I just feel sorry for them and how they decided to handle the situation/market.
And with pastries in mind, I am aware that I have an apple pie in the freezer. I might need to warm that up!
Christine
December 28th, 2008
Thanks for the post. I actually Googled this when trying to feel better about getting laid off last week. I was told 7 months ago that my performance was horrible. I was working until 8pm at night and coming in every other Sunday trying to work hard and do my best. It really has taken a toll on me…especially since I feel a little helpless that I might not find a job until after New Years due to people being out of the office for the holidays.
This really helped me feel a lot better! Considering you wrote this in September, I hope you have found a new and BETTER job by now! Best wishes!